word vomit.

I have the intense urge to start out ever post, every sentence, every utterance with a benign and vanilla “so…..”

But it serves not only as a toothless lead in and completely unrelated expression, but as a virtual de-fanger of sorts. It leaves me mushy gummed and slack jawed, and is that enough dental imagery for you?

Because this post has nothing to do with teeth, nor words, nor lead ins, nor anything I’ve even attempted to broach in the previous run on sentences taking residence up there and in that case I think it may just be best if we call this a writing exercise and make appreciative noises about streams of consciousness, but if this REALLY were a stream of consciousness then I’d be rambling about how I spilled oatmeal on myself this morning and despite frantic wiping, look like I have baby throw up on me at which point I’d make an awkward transition to how I drove next to my boss in his Bentley for an incredibly awkward 10 minutes today after leaving my plastic surgeon’s office and had an internal debate of epic proportions about whether to hide behind my Prada sunglasses and OHMYGOD only in LA would that sentence exist. Said stream would also include references to ouchy stomach muscles from first gym session in forever and how the drill sergeant voice inside my head reminds me that if I didn’t want to got to the gym I shouldn’t have tattooed my rib cage which ensures that you ALWAYS have to be in shape because otherwise you’re just another sad fat girl with a side piece. There would also be mentions of space bears (NOT space bars), Rafa Nadal, and forgetting deodorant, and how this post was really supposed to be a profound essay about procreation but this whole ADD thing is just too hard to handle and yes please commit me to somewhere, anywhere, my brain is going to explode and while I love space bears spacebarsareimportanttoo. Obviously.

Isn’t it funny how the more you  scream “I’m not crazy,” the more the nice people come at you with the strappy jackets?

Hmmmm. Irony.

~ by rubylocks on June 23, 2010.