i used to be much more muchier. i’ve lost my lost muchness.

So, because I like conducting my life as one big semi-lucid science experiment on social interactions (that’s dr. katie, bitch, faux anthropologist and licensed unicornologist), I spent a quarter of my Saturday becoming 1.) a big fucking misnomer and 2.) a fluffy fucking cupcake because c.) I am blonde.

As in for real. As in my hair is not red. As in I die.

Little did I know, but apparently, blonde is my FUCKING KRYPTONITE.

Seriously.

I feel handicapped.

Surely I deserve a front row parking space, wheely form of transportation, yellow jacketed dog, and 24/7 assistance to keep me from being a danger to myself and others (mostly myself because I am THISCLOSE to purchasing fucking Clariol).

But because I am a committed scientist (lie. read as: Because I spent half my rent on it), I’m keeping the blonde.

See, there’s nothing actually wrong with it. It’s just… it’s just …

It’s just so fucking pretty.

It’s like I grew a Taylor Swift on my head. I think it might even softly hum Disney music. And I swear to god, it smells like fucking fruit roll ups.

It’s like this honey colored hue had psychological ramifications I could little imagine- I feel NICE. and SWEET. and WHOLESOME.

Vomit.

Plus, I blame it for making me a.) paint my toes pink (pink!), b.) wear a dress with fucking water color painted flowers on it (holy shit), and c.) want an effing tan. A tan. I haven’t seen the sun since 2002. I revel in my emo pinup paleness. And I want a tan. And think freckles would be cute.

And I’m just going to fucking kill myself.

God I hope Clariol sells nooses.

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~ by rubylocks on March 15, 2010.

2 Responses to “i used to be much more muchier. i’ve lost my lost muchness.”

  1. I’ve got some silver paint at the apartment … maybe it’s time to go electro.

  2. […] As opposed to this time. […]

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