whip cream dream.

When your Halloween costume includes a corset, whip cream, and a garter belt, you know you’re either A. a drag queen B. a whore or C. really fucking awesome.

The answer is C.

Obviously.

And while I am positively giddy about the theatrics in store at our chosen Halloween destination this year, mostly I just want to play dress up- and to a girl that manages to make Strawberry Shortcake costumes into office attire, that means donning an outfit where the amount of clothing is a directly inverse proportion to the amount of sparkles on said cloth.

I was never good at math, so, translation for the lingually minded: I shall be nude. And covered in glitter.

For years (years in which I was fat and flat) I endlessly taunted womens’ adherence to the yearly celebration alternately deemed whore-o-ween. I sneered at tarted up versions of storybook characters and lamented the lack of creativity that went into Leg Avenue’s apparel selection. I nodded my head as other women tore apart the slutty get ups of their scantily clad cohorts, I put myself on a pedestal of “well- I never.”

And then I realized that- all of that- is nothing more than slut shamming- belittling women for showing off bodies THEY ARE REALLY FUCKING PROUD OF. And that? Is in staunch opposition to my chosen feminist agenda of celebrating women. All women. Even the nearly naked ones. ESPECIALLY the nearly naked ones.

Because now that I include myself in the pasty-plastered mini-skirted masses, I realize I’m excited about the costumery, the camp, the whip cream of it all! I am dressing exactly how I want to because…

I . WANT. TO.

And if my I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR proclamations weren’t evidence enough that my public panty frolicking has nothing to do with appeasing the ever present male gaze, perhaps the fact that I will be spending the evening with my equally nude and studded best friend and a half million gay men will prove that girls have more fun when they’re allowed to do exactly as they fucking please.

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~ by rubylocks on October 7, 2010.

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